auto boulot dodo - left coast

today was a good day for amusement on the email front:

it started out with a great email from insound some excerpts...

"So, maybe it's just me and maybe you all don't see what's going on here but
every week I am completely enthralled and baffled by Seth Cohen's storyline in
'The O.C.' I mean, this kid is like knee-deep in tail. He's literally fighting
off the hottest girl in school and some other totally adorable, but maybe a
little clingy, punk rock girl who has definitely bought the new Belle &
Sebastian DVD to impress him."

"And so all this reminded me that real life isn't like this except for on
Valentine's Day, which is coming up soon. On Valentines Day, the indie rock
boys totally get rewarded for their mix tapes and their hack poetry and that's
sort of why all you guys need to buy pretty much every new release below. Air.
Notwist. Numbers. Stereolab. Seriously, you've got mix tapes to make. And
really, how many times can you recycle the same Elliott Smith and Bright Eyes
songs. Plus, I'm dreadfully afraid that because of 'The O.C.' that the jocks
are onto us and then what happens if they start making mix tapes with like
Death Cab and American Analog Set on them. See where I'm going with this? We
must advance and evolve. Constantly coming up with new songs for the mix tapes.
Float like a butterfly. Sting like a bee. Look out prom queens. It's our time
to shine. Our time."

so yeah that amused me. i guess it's almost just as bad to have calvin college students making mix tapes with death cab. but i'm addicted - i can't stop!!!

ooooooh new Savath and Savalas album. it sounds pretty - i'm in awe of Scott Herren. He clearly rocks the witch.

then a cute email about hip hop robots. way too cool. i feel stodgy (blech that word is horrible in an appropriate way). some people come up with witty ideas about hip hop robots where my ideas lately have been about a book analyzing the american health care system and attempting to present the relevent game theory and economics in an accessible way. potentially useful but not very hip. i wrote an outline for this piece of writing - it's a huge project to do the way i would like, but more and more in the real world i'm realizing that often there isn't anyone that's going to do things you think should be done or even know anything about doing them better. you just have to do it and figure things out as you go. yay real world ego repair!!!

i'm getting into the studying. i think the course 4 material lends itself more to a spatial/graphical interpretation which i dig. also medication. i like psychopharmacology. i like that my doctor understands how unprecise these things are and trusts my judgement




listening to: unicorns

dang! i'm restless. very excited about coachella - wish it weren't right before my exam. *so* many awesome bands. wow.

weekend was weekendesque. no dcfc vinyl yet. boo.

i'm craving some new music but am trying to reign in the spending for now. i should figure out some sort of reward system scheme for studying... that could work well

got sucked into talking politics with my mother. i got worked up - she was amused - i was bemused at how unskeptical she was of bush and the people controlling him. also interesting to think about the distinctions people make between being evil and doing lots of evil and destructive actions. i frankly don't care whether bush is stupid or manipulative, i think it could be even worse if he truly believes he is doing the right thing. i consider him evil either way - even though i am somewhat of a moral relativist. she also thought there were checks and balances that would stop Bush from getting his way in other stupid notions (1.5b to promote marriage?) ha ...

americans are so attached to this notion that they have choices but fail to grasp how those choices are carefully chosen and framed by the system, from the proliferation of multiple choice tests, saturation of our environment with advertising and branding, and nearly all of the media being owned by a very few number of giant corporations. real choice begins with access to the intellectual and informational tools to question how actions programs corporations governments are really affecting people's lives.

listening to: afghan whigs - gentlemen

ok something is officially crazy with the world when the postal service is the 11th most played song on KROQ in such company as Blink 182 (my old fake favorite band) and Linkin Park (my new fake favorite band)
listening to: heatmiser

This is totally the awesomest description of an album/artist:

"Berlinette firstly draws upon the album title itself revealing Ellen Allien's identification with the city. Ellen Allien has found the key to her Self in this international context when one considers the philosophical notion pertaining to the experience of one's person through a relation to the other, i.e. the quasi dialectic of an I with an Other. She is continuously set in relation to Berlin, especially abroad. Berlinette is thus supposed to reflect this precise experience without any pretense for irony. The presentation of her label BPitch Control also happens this way. Ellen Allien not only delivers the feeling of Berlin city, but also offers her own experiential horizon defined by network structures and the idea of autocracy and independence. Individual systems make way for a tight co-operative in the collective. Ellen Allien allowed herself little time to complete Berlinette. One should under no circumstance understand her second album conceptually. Rather, she is en route searching for a new sound aesthetic that pays respect to her wide interests, activities and of course her personality. The quote 'I demand the complete summary of all artistic powers for the accomplishment of the art work as a whole.' of Kurt Schwitters, the great pioneer of German Dadaism, could perhaps come from Ellen herself. Her artistic approach equally reminds one of Dada: the combination of all possible musical pieces such as text, arrangement, sample, and beat. Here she shows a new face which sets forth what Stadtkind started. However, the principle of minimalism has given way to a more sharpened approach which is more than a kind of experiment in the process of production."



listening to: static, chatter, ventilation system

agh ... i'm 24 now. My father thinks it's a good age because it's divisible by lots of numbers. That is always important.

also it trips me out a lot that Death Cab is playing a show at *CALVIN* fucking *COLLEGE* wtf? I'm psyched for my brother but otherwise i'm dumbfounded.

i'm old... maybe i need a hot younger boyfriend?

listening to: postal service

lesbian tv one can always use more trashy tv about "creative" people in LA drinking lattes. Is it wrong that i'd rather watch gay men have hot sex? When is the new season of queer as folk going to start aghh.

anyways. i think i may see 21 grams tonight. or not.

listening to: diverse - one a.m.

death is pretty heavy stuff. i've been pretty fortunate so far not to have too many people i was close to die.
my grandfather died when i was 16 the day before thanksgiving, as i was recovering from getting my wisdom teeth out right before the end of one of the hardest, most academically intense terms of high school. But he died of natural causes, suddenly but he was old, not that old but old enough that you take death into consideration, it seems a possibility.
It was uncomfortable, i think that's the biggest thing about death is that people have a lot of emotions about it and my family isn't that good at dealing with emotions. I especially get freaked out by strong emotions.

so i really have no clue how you go about dealing. i'm thinking about it a lot and i have a lot of questions. but on the other hand it really is very far physically and emotionally from my life right now. lots of things remind me though. people talking about the LA auto show, gibsons, happy hour, queer as folk. i'm feeling a subtle anxiety about everything and everyone. how people are constantly in and out of my life - how i emotionally detach from people. i'm thinking about how nice it would be to have someone. it kind of sucks to not know how to depend on other people - not even know how to verbalize what you need from them. i believe in ultimately being responsible for the choices you make and the life you have but sometimes it would be nice to have someone that understood what you needed. i want this - but on the other hand i have no clue how to be that person for someone else.

heavy stuff

listening to: kcrw

another year. things are bizarre and not so good.

my new year's resolutions
save money
do more crafty/creative things
be more organized
exercise
move to SF
be more open to new relationships and meet more people

i accomplished a lot in 2003. it was a good year

I got a real job (a good one with badass benefits)
I bought a car
I moved
I finally got undepressed (is that a word?)
I lost weight

so yay me

listening to: magnetic fields - holiday