auto boulot dodo - left coast

Hmm, things continue to be interesting and highly anxiety producing. I decided that what i really needed to do was exercise because that is seriously the most effective anxiety reliever/mood enhancer/anti-depressant for me. I'm just lazy and easily distracted from that fact so it takes some serious anxiety combined with actual energy (not the lethargic depressed i'm just going to sleep mind state) Although I did sleep for 14 hours friday night (went to bed at 7:30pm got up at 9:30am) had seriously vivid dreams which took all sorts of aspects of current issues on my mind and just went through them in various ways. There were many bizarre parts of these dreams like Joy being there and wierd random people from the past getting married, and being at some swank mall with various people and trying to put on these clear plastic pants. Um also getting laid off and having some coworker tell me that it was because no one liked me at work. Some insecurities just persist even when i can reasonably function and in my day to day reality I believe that people at work actually like me or at least don't really dislike me. I made this super twee/i have a crush type of mp3 playlist that I listened to a bunch:

aislers set - long division
belle and sebastian - the boy with the arab strap
magnetic fields - i don't want to get over you
yo la tengo - sugar cube
tullycraft - twee
dressy bessy - if you should try to kiss her
postal service - brand new colony
belle and sebastian - you're such a baby
tullycraft - bee sting stings

yea! twee!

i wonder how my brother's date went! blah also i need to study - a lot.
variance of MLE estimators
review credibility and memorize key formulas (esp. conjugate priors)
time series - i just need to spend some more time working out some problems and memorize formulas/theory points for true false questions

i like hillary clinton and she makes many of the same points that i firmly believe It seems like if we had more legislators like her maybe we could get some sane legislation passed in Congress. American politics seems to be at a very dangerous stalemate. I'm just curious as to what will be the rhetoric/disaster that will galvanize the next movement. Hopefully we are overdue for a new (authentic) populist movement.

It also makes me think that maybe I should stay in health care even though it makes me uncomfortable because I may actually have opportunities to influence things. That's a wierd thing to realize - that you could potentially have real power over something. Power is wierd. It's something that interests me a lot in the way power dynamics work in relationships, and in history, part of the whole gender / post-structuralist way of interpreting history deals with specifically the way that gender and gendered language influence history and how people use rhetoric in controlling/framing issues. I like history.

listening to: Ride - Nowhere