auto boulot dodo - left coast

ha - i'm jealous of people on spring break - all calling me up and leaving messages about how they were drunk etc. and frollicing damn how do you spell that word??? in the beautiful california beauty. I have cute spring break tee-shirts. they make my boobs look nice!!! anyways... work is boring. i'm not being very productive because i want to be having crazy adolescent fun and making out with cute boys and girls too i guess but mostly boys - emphasis on the *boy* part. AHGH my mom's coming to visit. It will be wierd because I have this whole life where i do what i want and am who i am and that will be wierd for her to be there, and i will be stressed probably because of this whole work thing. ahghgh drama. i feel both older and younger - way less jaded but more comfortable with being able to take care of myself. i was listening to that dog in the car and it was so appropriate for summer and having a crush and being insecure etc. but fun too. it reminds me of evanston and kelly my roommate and riding the El into Chicago and getting tipsy on cider. If i could have just held on to that feeling - somehow if that had been my life - maybe i could have escaped some of the crushing guilt and depression - had some sort of a normal non fucked up life. I feel like i'm finally back to that place with myself - but i haven't really moved passed it. Also I'm back to that size - that's fundamentally wierd. To be the same size as high school. Crazy

listening to: spring break!!!!!